Standing Guard Over American Values
[ICE recruitment poster featuring bald eagle]
Sources confirm that ICE has launched an inspiring $100 million recruitment campaign targeting military veterans and Second Amendment enthusiasts.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
[New America the Beautiful pass design]
Conservation groups file lawsuit while outdoor retailers report 4,000% increase in sales of decorative stickers.
WASHINGTON, D.C.
[Mamdani cutting ribbon on public restroom]
Critics claim this is 'progress,' but sources confirm it's just another example of big government spending your money.
NEW YORK
[Attorney General Ellison at press conference]
Federal officials halted cooperation with state investigators, citing 'reasons we don't have to tell you.'
MINNEAPOLIS
[Greenland residents watching aircraft carrier]
Local resident Hans Egede was offered $100,000 and a Mar-a-Lago timeshare in exchange for his ancestral fishing grounds.
NUUK, GREENLAND