Fed Chair Powell Indicted On Charges Of Not Doing What Trump Wanted

In a bold correction to years of Deep State overreach, the Department of Justice has announced a 47-count federal indictment against Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, with charges ranging from “willful independence” to “conduct unbecoming a person who should do what he’s told.”

Sources confirm the indictment, unsealed early this morning, represents what administration officials are calling “a necessary recalibration of the relationship between the Federal Reserve and the American people, as represented by the President.”

The charges stem from what prosecutors describe as “a pattern of deliberate non-compliance” with presidential wishes regarding interest rate policy, dating back to Powell’s initial appointment in 2018 and continuing through his controversial decision to maintain elevated rates throughout 2025.

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For too long, unelected bureaucrats have made decisions affecting every American family without any accountability to the President. Today, we begin restoring balance. No one is above the law, especially not people who refuse to cut interest rates.

Powell, who remains barricaded inside the Federal Reserve’s Eccles Building in Washington, released a video statement this morning defending his record. “The Federal Reserve is an independent institution,” Powell said, speaking from what appeared to be his office, with several staffers visible moving furniture against the doors in the background. “Our mandate is price stability and maximum employment, not… whatever this is.”

The indictment has sent shockwaves through the financial world. Markets opened sharply lower before rallying on speculation that Powell’s replacement would immediately cut rates to zero, then plunging again when analysts noted that prosecuting the Fed Chair might have “broader implications for institutional stability.”

“This is exactly the kind of traditional panic-rally-panic pattern we’ve come to expect,” said Goldman Sachs chief economist Jan Hatzius. “First, everyone sells. Then, some people buy because prices dropped. Then, everyone remembers the central bank is under attack and sells again. Classic.”

Former Federal Reserve officials have responded with alarm. Janet Yellen, who served as Chair before Powell, issued a statement calling the indictment “unprecedented and dangerous.” Ben Bernanke, the 2022 Nobel laureate who led the Fed during the 2008 financial crisis, reportedly muttered “well, this is new” before declining to comment further.

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In my eighteen years as Chairman, no one ever tried to indict me for maintaining price stability. I’m not sure what’s happening to this country, but it seems… irrational. That’s a word I don’t use lightly.

Administration officials have been quick to reassure markets that the transition will be “smooth and beautiful.” Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent noted that “several qualified candidates” have already been identified to replace Powell, including “people who understand that when the President says ‘cut rates,’ that’s what you do.”

The White House has declined to specify who these candidates might be, though sources confirm the administration has been in contact with several financial figures known for their “flexibility on monetary policy.” One name mentioned repeatedly is that of Lawrence Kudlow, the former National Economic Council director, who is reportedly “very excited” about the opportunity.

Legal experts have noted that the charges appear to break new ground in American jurisprudence. “I’m not aware of any precedent for prosecuting someone for exercising legally protected independence,” said Harvard Law professor Lawrence Tribe. “Then again, I wasn’t aware of a lot of things that have happened lately.”

Powell’s legal team has indicated they will fight the charges vigorously. “Chairman Powell has committed no crime,” said his attorney, noting that the Fed Chair’s four-year term is not set to expire until 2026 and that “the Federal Reserve Act does not include ‘making the President unhappy’ as grounds for removal.”

At press time, sources confirm that Powell has requested “enhanced security” and that the Federal Reserve building has received several deliveries of what employees described as “supplies for an extended stay.” The U.S. Marshals Service has been instructed to “stand by” pending further developments.

The arraignment has been scheduled for next week, though it remains unclear whether Powell intends to appear in person or will continue communicating via video from inside the Eccles Building, which he has reportedly described as “surprisingly well-stocked with granola bars.”