IRS Announces Tax Season Will Open January 26
'We're here to help,' said an IRS spokesperson. 'Unless you need to talk to a human, in which case we're severely understaffed.'
[IRS building exterior with long line of confused taxpayers]
The IRS headquarters, where your call is important to them
The Internal Revenue Service has announced that tax season will officially open on January 26, giving Americans approximately three months to locate their W-2s, argue with their spouses about deductions, and ultimately pay someone else to do the thing that the IRS has made intentionally complicated. Sources confirm this is freedom.
“We’re here to help,” said IRS Commissioner Daniel Werfel in a statement that no one believes. “The IRS is committed to providing taxpayers with the resources they need to file accurate returns. Those resources include our website, our automated phone system, and the quiet desperation of realizing that neither of those things will actually help you.”
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We’ve made significant improvements to taxpayer services this year. For example, our hold music has been updated. It’s still Vivaldi, but it’s a different Vivaldi piece. We think you’ll find it slightly less maddening.
The IRS has encouraged taxpayers to file electronically and choose direct deposit, as this reduces the chances of the IRS losing your return in a filing cabinet from 1987. Paper returns, the agency notes, will be processed “eventually,” a timeline that could mean six weeks or six months, depending on factors the IRS declined to specify.
For taxpayers with questions, the IRS has provided several options: the IRS website (which assumes you already understand tax code), the IRS helpline (average wait time: “a while”), and IRS Free File (which is free unless you accidentally click on something that makes it not free). Those seeking human assistance are encouraged to lower their expectations.
IRS Customer Service: What To Expect
- Average hold time: 47 minutes (if you’re lucky)
- Chance of reaching a human: Approximately 29%
- Chance that human can help: Approximately 60%
- Overall chance of resolution: Math left as exercise for taxpayer
- Recommended approach: File early, pray, consider Turbo Tax
The agency noted that taxpayers who received certain credits last year may need to reconcile those amounts, a process that the IRS documentation describes in approximately 47 pages of impenetrable prose. Those who accidentally claimed too much will owe money; those who claimed too little will receive a refund, eventually, possibly with interest, if they fill out the right form.
“The tax code is actually quite simple,” explained one tax attorney, laughing. “It’s only about 6,500 pages, plus another 60,000 pages of regulations, plus case law, plus various IRS rulings that may or may not still apply. Any American with four years of specialized training and several hundred dollars for software can figure it out.”
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Every year I tell myself I’ll do my own taxes. Every year I end up crying in front of a spreadsheet at 11 PM on April 14th. Every year I swear I’ll hire someone next time. The cycle continues.
The IRS has warned taxpayers to be alert for tax scams, noting that the agency will never call you to demand immediate payment. This is because the IRS doesn’t call anyone, ever, because they don’t have enough employees to make phone calls. If someone does call claiming to be from the IRS, taxpayers can rest assured it’s a scam, because the real IRS can barely answer incoming calls, let alone make outgoing ones.
Important deadlines for the 2026 tax season include January 26 (filing opens), April 15 (filing deadline), October 15 (extension deadline), and “ongoing” (the deadline for existential dread about whether you did it right).
The IRS closed its announcement by reminding taxpayers that paying taxes is a privilege of citizenship and that the revenue collected funds important government services. When asked which services specifically, given recent budget cuts, the spokesperson paused for an uncomfortable length of time before ending the press conference.