Area Man Enters 10th Month On Hold With Insurance Company
Mark Johnson, 54, has now spent approximately 2,400 hours on hold with State Farm, developing what he describes as 'an intimate, possibly unhealthy relationship' with Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons.'
[Mark Johnson, 54, stares into middle distance while Vivaldi plays for the 3,000th time]
Johnson has memorized every note. 'Spring is my favorite,' he says flatly. 'Winter is too on the nose.'
Mark Johnson, 54, a former marketing executive whose Pacific Palisades home was destroyed in the January 2025 wildfires, has now spent approximately 2,400 hours on hold with State Farm insurance, developing what he describes as “an intimate, possibly unhealthy relationship” with Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons.”
“I know every note,” Johnson told reporters, his eyes fixed on some distant point that only he could see. “I can tell you exactly when the violins swell in ‘Spring,’ measure by measure. I hear it in my dreams. When I’m in the shower. When I’m trying to have a conversation with my wife — who, by the way, left me because I couldn’t stop humming the Spring movement. I am becoming the music.”
By The Numbers
- 2,400+ — Hours spent on hold
- 847 — Times transferred to different departments
- 23 — Claims adjusters assigned to his case
- 0 — Dollars received
- 4 — Seasons (the Vivaldi kind)
Johnson’s claim, filed on January 12, 2025, remains listed as “under review” in State Farm’s system. During the past ten months, he has been transferred between departments 847 times, assigned 23 different claims adjusters (18 of whom no longer work for the company), and asked to resubmit his documentation on 14 separate occasions.
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Your call is important to us. I know this because they tell me every thirty seconds. For ten months.
“The first month, I was angry,” Johnson explained, carefully arranging a collection of stress balls he has purchased during his ordeal. “The second month, I was frustrated. By month three, I had entered a kind of zen state. Now I exist in a space beyond emotion. I am simply here, waiting. The hold is my life. The life is the hold.”
Johnson has developed several coping mechanisms during his extended hold experience. He has learned to identify which representative will pick up based on subtle variations in the hold music volume. He has memorized the company’s entire automated menu system, including options that are no longer active. He has written two novels and completed a correspondence course in accounting.
“I’ve actually become fluent in Spanish from listening to the bilingual prompts,” he noted. “Para espanol, oprima el numero dos. I know what that means now. I could move to Spain. I would, but I’m worried they’d finally pick up while I’m on the plane.”
State Farm spokesperson Jennifer Mills declined to comment on Johnson’s specific case, citing privacy concerns, but noted that the company is “committed to serving our customers efficiently and handling all claims in a timely manner.”
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We value all our customers and their patience during this challenging time. Your call is important to us.
Johnson, who has been living with his sister in Pasadena since the fire, says he has no plans to hang up. “What if they pick up?” he asked, gesturing at the phone mounted on the wall with its own dedicated charging station. “What if the moment I hang up is the moment they were about to answer? I’ve invested ten months. I can’t walk away now. That’s the sunk cost fallacy, and I am fully committed to it.”
As of press time, Johnson was still on hold. The hold music had just transitioned from “Summer” to “Autumn.” He seemed at peace.